The Drama of Fighting for Principle

I got into a car accident. It was partly my fault for not paying attention, and partly the other guys fault for driving way too slow, and stopping on the highway without cause. As a result, my car was totaled.

His car was fine. Of course.

So my wife and I were put into the rather perilous and unpleasant position that we needed a new vehicle, and quickly. Thanks to our insurance, I was able to use a rental, but my time with that vehicle was limited.

Fortunately I work for a company that uses its business relationships to get discounts and incentives for its employees. And let me tell you, it's been a fantastic thing being able to use some great tools to help find a the perfect match, with the best pricing.

One of the things we did was visit some of the websites of some of the dealerships listed. We were excited and surprised therefore to find that with one of the dealerships the pricing listed on their website was actually BETTER than what was advertised through my corporate discount! The savings we were seeing were fantastic, and the ones we saw on this site were even better.

So we decided to make a direct inquiry to South Suburban Mitsubishi and spoke with the internet manager, Kathy who explained everything, mentioned that they could fed-ex paperwork, and have the car delivered to our front door. This was probably one of the coolest things we had heard, and looking back, probably what we should have done.

However, we felt it was a better idea to go and see the vehicle first-hand, and test drive it. We both took time off work, I had to use my last 4 hours of vacation, and still ended up with a point against me on my attendance. The drive in was very stressful, traffic in some places was slowed to almost a standstill. We had to pick the day they decided to clean the interstate, and reduce four lanes of traffic down to one. To make matters worse, we got a call from our sales rep on the way letting us know that the vehicle we were coming to see, the only one that my wife had written the information down for, was missing one of the features we wanted which was the Four Wheel Drive, so she would show us a version of that vehicle that did have that option. This was fine, we'd seen the site, and we knew that there were others in our price range, and that we would be able to get a great deal still.

When we got there everyone was very helpful, and accommodating, and we got to speak with our sales rep, Mimi, who was kind and pleasant, and eager to show us all the features of the car. This car had a few EXTRA features, she assured us, that she knew we would love, such as the keyless entry and ignition, and the back-up camera.

Aha, the infamous up sell. But that was okay, we were there to buy a car, we might as well see what we could get. The features were indeed fantastic, and the drive was very nice.

I felt a little odd though when we asked for the price, and her response was "We're not gonna give you the price just yet, we want to see if we can get you where you want to be with monthly payments."

And that's when I started to get a little suspicious, and when I realized that telling them how much we could afford per month might be a bad idea. In my head I thought, "they're going to just adjust the pricing and interest, and put us just on the mark where we want to be, even if they CAN get us a lower price, they know how far we've come, they know how badly we need a car, they know we don't want or intend to have come all that way, and spent all that time only to leave empty handed, and have it wasted. Certainly my wife in particular was feeling the stress of the day.

They came back with an interest rate and monthly payment that was bit above the amount that we wanted to be able to pay monthly.

That's when I really started to get suspicious. I kept wanting to say something, but my wife was so stressed out, and so worried about the possibility of leaving there and not having a car, which would mean that we had wasted the whole day, and we would STILL have to find a car somehow, that anytime I made any kind of negative statement she would glare at me with the heat of a thousand suns, (though she would deny that if you ask her now.)

So we bought the car. It was more than we had originally intended, and we would have to play around with the budget a lot, but my wife was happy, the car was fantastic (and still is,) and we were eager to get home.

We did. It rained. Traffic was horrible. We were so strung out by the time we got home we just wanted to fall into bed.

But out of curiosity I took a minute to get online and look up the car that I myself had seen, which was not the one that my wife had written down the information. It was still there, on the website. But I noticed that the MSRP was EXACTLY the same as the MSRP for our car. That seemed like an odd coincidence, so I checked the VIN against the one on our paperwork. It was identical...

...and the website had it listed $2,620 lower.

So there was a part of me that said that must be a mistake. There was another part of me that was thinking  "bait and switch." But I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.

But I started by taking a couple of precautions. First I took a screenshot of the web page that listed our vehicle, making sure to show both the VIN, the MSRP, and the Sale Price. To be doubly sure, just in case someone tried to cry "Photoshop," I downloaded the HTML for the page.

Then the following day I started working on an email. When Mimi sent me an email, asking how everything was going I took that as the perfect opportunity to send the email I'd written.

Then I waited.

I sent the email on Thursday, but did not get a reply, so on Monday I gave them a call. I asked for Mimi, but she had apparently turned the email over to Dennis, the General Sales Manager. He called me back later that evening.

Now prior to this, being the paranoid cynic that I am, I researched the legality of recording phone calls. I wanted to be protected so that anything that was said, could be brought up later. What I found out is that some states require that one party be aware if a call is being recorded, including Iowa. So if I wanted to record a conversation where both parties were in Iowa, as long as I knew the call was being recorded, I could do that.  Illinois however is a multi-party notification state. All parties must be notified that the call is being recorded. Not give permission mind you, just notification.

So I told Dennis I would be keeping a record of our calls. He did not raise any objection.

During the call, he told me first off that he treats the deals on the website like a coupon, that we would need to print it off and present it so they can put it on file.This will be important later, so keep this in mind.

Next he went over the sale pricing and made note of different incentives that were supposedly put on there. I heard some of those he had mentioned, but I couldn’t recall the explicit details as he happened to call when I was in the car on the way home from work, so I offered to email him the information I had, a copy of the screenshot, and a picture of our final invoice.

He agreed, but tossed in that no matter what we paid, we already got a great deal on the car. 

This statement rubbed me wrong. My wife and I looked at a lot of vehicles during this whole process, prior to deciding this dealership, and this vehicle, and the PRIMARY reason we went with this dealership was the price. We had seen other vehicles from other dealerships and other manufacturers with similar features, and the pricing was very close to what we ended up paying. We didn't want a "Great Deal," or we wouldn't have had to make a nearly 350 mile round trip. But enough soap-boxing.

When I got home that night, I looked over the invoice, and made some very careful notes about the price we paid, and how exactly that was different than what was advertised on the website, I sent the pictures, and noted that I hoped this could be settled amicably.

It was then about a week or so before I got more than a cursory response from anyone at South Suburban Mitsubishi despite repeated calls and messages from me. When I finally did get a call from Dennis, which I got at work, and had to call him back, it was so that he could tell me that the pricing on the website included dealer incentives which were constantly changing, and that all sales were final.

I was pretty upset by this. I had been pretty sure they would see that this was just a mistake, and would want to correct it. To have them completely turn around and slam the door in my face was very very upsetting.

So I had to calm down, take some time and get some perspective. I searched the internet, and found that I was not the only one who had issues getting the pricing listed on the website. I did a Google search for Illinois vehicle advertising law, and found the website for the Attorney General of Illinois, and discovered two things:

1. It is an unfair or deceptive act to advertise, offer for sale or sell any motor vehicle without disclosing all material terms and conditions relating to the offer clearly and conspicuously at the outset of the offer so as to leave no reasonable probability that the offering might be misunderstood.

2. The availability of a limited rebate may be advertised if the terms of the limitation are clearly and conspicuously disclosed.  It is an unfair or deceptive act to advertise a price or amount of an installment payment in which limited rebates have been deducted.

So I checked their website, and while I did see mention of a customer loyalty rebate, which is something I would never have expected to get in the first place, I did not see any mention of any other rebates, other than the one we had received, which at the time was $500. I did however see a tiny little disclaimer that said "All applicable factory rebates applied and available to all consumers."

All consumers? Except those who don't know about them it seems.

Interestingly as I write this, I went back to their site, and noticed another small disclaimer that was added recently, and wasn't there when I made my screenshot nor when I downloaded the HTML file. It says: "Prior sales ineligible for advertised pricing. Dealer not responsible for type errors." Which means now they can claim that a price listed on the website was simply a typographical error, and that they're not responsible for honoring it. Which begs the question; Why even have prices listed on the website then? If you're not going to stand by your advertising, why even bother putting out ads?

The answer seems fairly clear to me. They want to lure you in with false promises on their website that they never intend to keep.

I've since filed a claim with the Better Business Bureau over this. The dealerships answer is predictable. Dealer incentives which change all the time, all sales are final. In the original complaint I mentioned the Atty. Gen. website, and the rules concerning disclosure, but he hasn't made any mention of that whatsoever. So now I'll be filing a complaint with the Attorney Generals office directly, and submitting reviews to several different car-buying websites, probably large sections of this blog post will be cut and pasted to write it.

But I wanted to pass along a few things I've learned, that I wish I'd known before starting all this:

1. If you see pricing listed on a website for a car, print it out and bring it with you.

2. DO NOT just bring one price for one vehicle. Bring several listings, and make sure they all have VIN numbers.

3. If you don't have print outs make sure you have a Smartphone with a browser that allows you to see the desktop version of a website. Chrome does this. That way when they show you the vehicle, and the VIN number you can compare that information to the information on their website.

4. BE PREPARED TO WALK AWAY. If at any time you feel you are being treated unfairly, no matter what the circumstances, thank them for their time, and walk out the door. They will try to stop you, but do not let them.

5. Know the Laws and Codes. Google the Attorney Generals website for your region or state, and read up on Motor Vehicle Advertising. Bookmark it on your smartphone if you have one.

I have no idea now whether anything is going to happen, or if I'm ever going to see anything from this. And honestly, I don't really care about the money anymore. I just get so upset thinking about how many people have probably been taken in by the too fantastic deals on the website, only to pay more than they were expecting, or more than the website claimed. So now I just want to let as many people as possible know about this place, and others like it, and how to protect themselves. If this keeps just one other person from falling victim to deceptive advertising tactics, I'll be happy.

And share this with anyone you know who is in the market for a new car, and looking online for the best deals. Even if they only look at the list, it will be better than the alternative.

Thanks!

Magic World (working title): Chapter 10 part 1

Hacking, Gary reflected, is first and foremost an exercise of logic.

 Sure you hear in movies and stuff that it's all an art form, and people go on and on about how they broke such and such encryption. The truth is both much simpler and in some ways much scarier: Hacking is more about the information people leave out in the open, than cracking codes, or decryption. 

Sometimes you have to write code, sure. And that code has to do what you want it to, automate some simple task. But you would be surprised what information people leave out there in public! They send it from their phones, they send it over wi-fi, unencrypted, they leave it on their computers in a text file, heck they even post in on their freaking FACEBOOK page! And once you have a little bit of someone's information, you can get more and more. It's like one little piece can unlock more, then that piece unlocks the next and so on.

Fortunately a lot of this can be automated. So as Gary walked down the Chicago street, playing a video game on his phone, and listening to music, his backpack was collecting RFID, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, Near Field Communication, and other forms of wireless information from mobile phones, credit cards, drivers licenses, key fobs, laptops, and all sorts of other wireless items and devices. The computer routine made connections, looked for commonalities of names, numbers, etc, until it had a nice little profile. 

But of course that wasn't all. It also installed a tiny, unobtrusive key logger on the device, either phone or laptop which sent a log of all keystrokes to a private email drop box each time they went to a new webpage, or sent any information over the internet.

You would think with all this information and power one would find abusing it to be all too easy. But the concept didn't even occur to Gary. It was all in purpose to The Code.

The Code was the thing Gary was working on. And indefinable spark, a bit of... something. He wasn't sure. Some kind of algorithm that would allow him to create the ultimate programmers holy grail.

Artificial Intelligence. He shivered with the thought.

But of course that didn't pay the bills. So while he was playing the game he was also infiltrating a multi-billion dollar corporate server. It was dull stuff. He used the connections around him to mask his signal, and at random intervals he would swap to another connection.

And all to get the recipe to some stupid sponge cake, that some total newb thought would work better if you filled it with whipped cream. 

His phone played the "secret discovered" music from The Legend of Zelda, his notification music. There was a new news notification on his Noozwyre app. His subroutines were ticking over fine, they didn't him to watch over them. He looked at the app.

Then stopped dead on the sidewalk. He closed his eyes, and swallowed, then opened them again without looking at his screen. Then he steeled himself, and forced himself to look at the screen and read the article. 

It wasn't long. When it was over he took off his glasses and wiped at his eyes. This wasn't the time to deal with this. He had a job to finish. 

The opening bars of the music for world 1-2 of Super Mario Bros. signaled that he had a new email. He opened it up, and saw that it was from Raul. 

The actual text of the message was quite long, but it looked like it was written in some kind of code... but something that looked like computer code... only... like nothing he had ever seen. It was too verbose, too... much.

And then he realized; It was another language. A whole other programming language, that no computer had ever been created to read. 

He checked the sender. It was Raul. Of course it was. He chuckled a little, and wiped a tear from his eye.

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 18

At a gesture from Henry, Jackie went to Bernard and took the sawed-off, and gestured for the Goats-Head biker to start walking, then pulled out his phone, and started sending a text, following along behind, gun still pointed at the thug.

Henry turned back to the pink-haired girl, looking her over in a calculating way. Though there was a sense of appreciation as well, he mostly seemed impressed that such a girl could take down two much larger bikers so very quickly. He looked at the skinny guy too, but dismissed him almost immediately.

Bernard almost did too, but a little voice in the back of his mind asked why he should do so. In a nearly empty street, and with so few people involved why should anyone be beneath notice.

Walking toward them, he glanced at the skinny man, then noticed a little bit of pointy ear jutting out from his hair. An elf, he realized.

The elf turned to look at him, noticing that Bernard was noticing. His face betrayed nothing, a perfectly blank mask.

"So," Henry was saying. "Why would a cute little thing like you..." she visibly brightened at the word cute, "...want to take down a couple of crack-pipe-hitting ass-beating dip-shit meth-head mother-fuckers like these two? Not that I'm not grateful mind you. But uh... Well let's just say; my curiosity is aroused." He looked her up and down again, but more in a challenging way than a lascivious way.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, as if preparing for a task, then launched into a long story involving an IED, some old guy who made her a prosthetic leg, which Bernard had to look twice at or he would never have believed it, then coming into town, talking to an art dealer, and how she led her here, to the little halfling dancer, Pearl. When she mentioned the explosion though, Bernard took more notice.

“Bloody Hell!” he exploded suddenly. “You’re here for Raul too?”

Both the elf and the girl turned to look at him, an incredulous look on the girls face, the elf as always was inscrutable.

“Aha, so she’s not full of shit,” said Henry as if the coincidence of their meeting was entirely commonplace. “Well then, I owe you all a favor , so if we can finish the job we started, we can get things rolling on that.”

"Yeah, about that," said Bernard dubiously. "I believe you mentioned something about  High Explosives?"

Jackie grunted. He had zip-tied all the Goats-Head MC bikers. "He was kidding about that."

"Aw, come on Jackie," said Henry, sounding disappointed but smiling. "Let me have a little fun huh?"

Jackie rolled his eyes and started toward the van motioning for Bernard to follow. They opened the back and looked inside. Lying on the floor of the van was a small body, about the size of a child, but the proportions were all wrong. His hands were zip-tied, and he had a hood over his head. Jackie helped him sit up and pulled the hood off, the started on the zip-ties.

The gnome looked around dazedly, blinking in the sudden light. "Jackie?" he said to the biker. "About time... I wasn't sure I was going to make it much longer...."


*****************************************************

 Bernard stopped at that point and looked at Gary. So did everyone else.

Gary didn't seem to notice.

"Gary?"

"No I haven't found the car yet. I think someone disabled the GPS, either that or it's been stripped for p..." he slowed to a stop as he realized everyone was looking at him. He looked back confused. "What..?"

Bernard repeated himself. "I said we found a gnome in the back of the van, who says he wasn't going to make it much longer."

"It's your turn cutie," said Miranda, making Gary blush.

Davin was glad to see he wasn't the only one.

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 17

When the GPS showed that he was approaching Paris Street Bernard slowed down, and looked around, spotting a gravel parking lot next to a short brick building. The only other car in the lot was a newer model silver sedan with rental plates parked alongside the building.

He parked behind it, so that the rental car would be between him and the club, then got out and jogged across the street looking for the van in question, spotting it near the back, facing away from the street. He could see the two guys  in the front seats, just as Jackie had said, so he found a place among the remaining cars and squatted down.

Henry and Jackie hadn’t started up the block just yet, but the door to the club opened, and a skinny guy in a nice looking suit came outside with one of the dancers, a petite thing with dark hair. They were standing in the street speaking in hushed voices, when there was a roar from inside, and a crash.

The two thugs in the van roused when they heard the commotion, and after a few seconds two more bikers came out of the bar, wearing leather jackets with a stylized goats skull on the back, and started walking menacingly toward the guy and the stripper.

The men in the van looked at each other, but made no move to get out, so Bernard took the opportunity to sneak closer to the van to try to flank them while they were distracted. Then the door opened again and out came a pink-haired, tattooed stripper holding what looked like a police issue tazer in each hand.

Bernard thought this book a little ridiculous, only amateurs ever tried to use two guns at once, but the two thugs in the van must've decided that this constituted enough of a threat, and got out to go help their compatriots. 

As Bernard circled around behind them he heard the stripper shout something followed by the loud grunting noises of the two men being tazed.

When he got around behind them he noted that thug number one was holding a sawed-off pump shotgun.

"Great," he thought, "So, no guns, eh Jackie?" 

The two goons seemed to be trying to keep a low profile, but they were intent on the activity in the street, the smaller dancer seemed to have driven off in the rental car, so they didn't notice Bernard sneaking up behind. 

Then, finally, Bernard heard the sound of Henry and Jackie's motorcycles approaching. The skinny suited man and the stripper had also noticed, and the girl was squaring off, as if getting ready for a fight.

The thugs took this as their cue to make their move, and Bernard used that to make his move.

He saw thug #1 notice him in the mirror of a car, so when he tapped him on the right shoulder he wasn't surprised when the right elbow swung toward him. He grabbed thug #2 and pulled him into the path of the flying elbow, which impacted solidly sending teeth and blood flying, and thug #2 reeled away.

Thug #1 tried to swing the barrel of the shotgun around to aim at Bernard, who obstructed his forearm with his own upraised right forearm. He then simultaneously rolled that arm over the thugs, and thrust upward with the heel of his left hand, striking the elbow. It didn't break, but he did feel it as the elbow dislocated. He scooped the sawed-off into his own hands, his left on the grip, and the right on the barrel, then jabbed the butt of the gun at the side of the thugs head, just above the ear. 

The biker dropped like a stone. 

The other thug had recovered by then and faced Bernard, spitting blood on the ground which then also dribbled down his chin, and looking murderous. Bernard took the shotgun in his right hand and pointed it at the thug, who stopped short looking at it then back up at Bernard, dubiously.

"You know," said Bernard in a cheery voice, "I'm not exactly great with guns. I don't know, for example, if there's a shell in this chamber right now or not." He let his eyes go wide and crazy. "In fact, I don't even know how many shells this this gun holds, or how wide of a spread the bullets will make. I couldn't even tell you if this thing has a safety." He smiled maniacally at the biker. "Isn't it fun, not knowing?"

The thug glowered and took half a step back.

Henry and Jackie had just pulled up and were now getting off their bikes. Henry had a look on his face, like Christmas has come early.

"Whoo-whee!" He whooped loudly. Looking at the stripper he said, "Darlin' where did you come from, and are there any more at home like you?" 

She grimaced, but seemed to relax a bit, seeing now that no attack was imminent.

"Aw, aren't you cute," she said sarcastically. "Has that kind of line Ever worked for you?"

He grinned and winked at her. "Only once kitten, and then I married her. Which reminds me...." He turned to Bernard. "After THAT kind of performance I might just change my mind and let you fuck my wife after all!"

Not taking his eyes off the thug in front of him, Bernard rolled his eyes, but couldn't help smirking. Just a little.

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 16

Nine minutes forty-eight seconds later the two vehicles pulled up outside the Marathon station.

"Now if that was me," Henry was saying jovially, "I would have cops so far up my ass they could have seen what I was thinking!"

"What can I say? It's a gift," said Bernard, smirking as he got out of the car.

A tall square jawed man wearing a leather jacket similar to Henrys, approach them in the parking lot.

"What's the plan boss?" asked Jackie.

Henry looked back and forth between them for a few moments. "How are you in a fight?"

"I grew up on the streets, trading punches with people fighting to survive. I'm not very good with guns, but if its a brawl you're after I can oblige you."

Henry nodded and looked at Jackie questioningly.

Jackie looked doubtful for a moment, and said slowly, "I didn't see any guns-"

"Perfect," said Henry. "Here's the plan. Jackie you and me will go over a couple blocks, then start heading for the club making a lot of noise along the way. Orco, you give us a couple minutes then head up this block here, I think its Macksville ave. when you get to Paris Avenue you should see the club on your left. We'll distract those tiny dick goat head mother fuckers, while they're getting ready for us you come up behind and knock them the fuck out."

"Then all we have to do just get the van full of highly explosive materials to a safe location."

Bernard what slightly taken aback by this statement, but before he could respond Henry slapped him on the arm and said, "Good luck Orco, see you on the other side," and gunned his bike loudly and took off.

Bernard sighed and said, "I have to stop hanging around criminals." 

He got back in his Mustang and started slowly heading up Macksville ave.

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 15

Henry reached back into the saddlebag of his Harley, and pulled out a heavy duty radio about the size of a small regular cell phone. It was attached to a headset with an ear bud that looped over the back of the ear, and a round black pad that fitted to a choker-style collar, which Bernard recognized as a throat mic.

"Now that's some very serious hardware," he said.

Henry nodded , holding it out to him, and as Bernard took it he said, "A lot of our newer brothers are veterans of Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan. They occasionally bring back some toys and goodies we can use, in our eternal fight against the forces of 'Law'" he said, air quoting hugely, "and the enemies of Freedom."

He kick started the motorcycle. "C'mon," he said. "I'll give you a ride back over to your car."

Bernard started. "I, uh..." he hesitated. "I'm um..."

The truth was that Bernard, who could drive anything with four wheels and get it to dance, was not at all at home on a motorcycle. Something about leaning into turns just made him a little queasy. He preferred his vehicles to stay upright.

"I can walk back, if that's okay. I'll just cut back the way we came-"

"Through the house?" Henry's eyes narrowed. "With My Wife?" He somehow managed to emphasize each word.

Bernard blinked and swallowed, then nodding, reluctantly got on the back of the bike. He was very grateful about 60 seconds later when they arrived back in front of the shop, and he got off a little dizzily, and got in his Mustang.

Henry pulled up beside him and motioned to the radio, holding up first four, then one, then four fingers. Bernard nodded, and Henry acknowledged, then drove off. Bernard started the car and followed, then set the radio to frequency 414.

"I'm here," he said.

"Good. I got Jackie on the radio right now. Jackie, tell Mr Orco Bernard, and me what's going on."

A deep male voice, clear and calm, with what Bernard recognized as military radio discipline and careful diction spoke. "No problem boss. Okay, we've got a pair of Goat's Head MC members inside Club Koyote right now. Our van is in the parking lot and it looks like they have at least two guys inside counting. I'm circling back right now before they see me. I can meet you at the Marathon station on the corner of US 40 and Sumner."

Bernard was already putting that into the GPS on his phone when Henry said, "Okay Jackie, we'll be there in about 15 minutes, how many broth-"

Bernard cut in. "If you follow me I can get you there in ten."

There was a stunned silence on the radio for a moment, and out in front of him Henry glanced over his shoulder. "Okay orco, you're in the lead. Impress me," he said semi sarcastically.

Bernard smirked as Henry pulled his bike over slightly to let him by, and continued to talk logistics with Jackie.

One of the best kept secrets of the cop world was the existance of the patrol car GPS map. No cop in existance would EVER admit to it's existance...

...Unless you had something on them. And Bernard had something on a cop in Baltimore, about a thirteen year old prostitute. It wasn't really as bad as it sounded, but embarassing enough to get the "CopMap" app and a log in that looked like a police dispatch. The app was totally the secret to better police deployment in cities all over the country, and even small town police departments had it now.

Including THPD. He could see six patrol cars, none of which were anywhere near their current route. He sped up to about 80 mph, with a bemused biker following behind.

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 14

"Flicker tells me your name is Bernard, is that right?" asked Henry, pronouncing it Ber-NARD.

His mannerism and style were large and flamboyant, loud and brash, like someone high on cocaine, or meth, but Henry didn't show any of the telltale signs. His face was road worn, wrinkled leathery and brown, but that seemed like the result of too many miles on the road, than rampant drug use. He seemed more like a hyperactive, but charismatic child.

With a violent streak.

"That'll work, and then may I ca-"

The biker whirled on him so suddenly Bernard didn't even realize till their faces were only inches apart, and he was saying in a slightly hushed and menacing voice, "Now why do you gotta do that? I mean I know your name is pronounced BER-nerd, Flicker told me," he said. "What's the matter, ain't you got no self-respect? Ain't you a real man, hm?"

Bernard very slowly and carefully, without taking his eyes off the man, took half a step back before saying, "It's true I normally correct people on the proper pronunciation of my name. Take it as a mark of respect that I chose not to correct you."

Henry nodded, and looked at Bernard as if re-evaluating him, but also with a touch of pride in his eyes. "Good answer," he said. "Doesn't matter anyway though. Ber-nerd, Ber-NARD," he shook his head. "Too pretentious for a small-town, redneck, hillbilly like me. I was just gonna call you Orco anyway. C'mon, lemme introduce you to the wife and kids. Now Red Devil tradition, which is based on Mongolian nomadic culture, dictates that I must offer you my wife to lie with for a night. But we are not Mongols, and I would take it as a sign of respect..." he looked meaningfully at the orc when saying this, "...if you would not accept this kind offer, even IF I embellish or insist, which I am obligated to do."

They were crossing the shady, well manicured back yard of the house which was on the opposite side of the block from the shop, walking toward a white two story house with blue trim, which was surrounded by - Bernard had to look twice, and squint just to be sure - a white picket fence. 

He said somewhat distractedly, "I assure you, sharing women with another man is not something I would do by choice. You have nothing to fear from me in that regard, Mr... um... President."

"Yeah you can call me that. I suppose you're wondering about the uh... " he twirled his finger around indicating their surroundings, and Bernard nodded . "Well for a guy like me, you get to be a certain age and start thinking about your future. And a life of riding around, hurting people, killing, and drugs might sound like a lot of fun, you want your kids to know what the other side is like, even if its just for contrast."

"So this isn't the life you want?"

Henry hedged a bit, tilting his head back and forth in a 50/50 gesture. "It has its good things and bad things. Not getting harassed by the cops is good for one, but I would rather face down all the crack junkies in all of Indiana than go to another PTA meeting. Those people are crazier than the craziest meth heads I ever met, and that includes myself."

Bernard nodded, not really understanding.

Henry led them into the back door of the house, into the kitchen, which was small and simple, and decorated like any other small mid-western kitchen, complete with the little clock on the wall with the cat whose eyes move in time with the tail. It creeped Bernard out a little bit. 

Then two small children came into the room. The younger one, the girl of about eight, with her blonde hair in pigtails, and wearing a pink and yellow sun dress, screamed, "DADDY'S HOME," and leaped into her father's arms, while the boy, about twelve with dark hair down below the level of his eyes, wearing blue jeans and an Alice in Chains T-Shirt, just rolled his eyes.

Then he caught sight of Bernard and said defensively, "Who the fuck is this?"

Bernard raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Well they've certainly inherited your social graces."

Henry, holding his daughter, looked at Bernard with raised eyebrows and said, "Fuckin' A right. Bernerd, this is Edward and Gracie, kids, this is BER-nerd. He's a little touchy about his name, so get it right."

"No problem Ber-NARD," said Edward sarcastically, as Gracie just hid her face shyly against her father. Bernard just rolled his eyes as Edward turned to his father and said. "Oh, and I was coming out to tell you, Jackie just stopped by, but he looked like he was in a hurry. He said they're down at the coyote, and you would know what that meant."

"Fuckin' shit-birds," said Henry, putting Gracie down. He looked at Bernard. "Hey, I know you got some stuff going on around here, but uh... would you mind giving us a hand with something. It is a driving thing, and..."

"You said the magic words mate, not a problem. You scratch my back..."

"Ooo, is somebody talking about back scratching?" 

A gorgeous redheaded woman entered the kitchen, wearing nothing but a skirt, and a smile. Bernard had to make a conscious effort to make sure his eyes remained elevated, but he noted that Edward rolled his eyes, and he and Gracie left the kitchen. 

"Margie, this is Bernard. Orco, this is my wife Margie, who apparently doesn't have any clean shirts or bras today."

"Charmed," said Bernard smiling pleasantly and politely at her. 

She smiled and licked her lips. "Very interesting accent Bernard. I assume that Henry has made the standard offer? It's not often I get to entertain Orcs..." she looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on him uncomfortably.

Henry glanced meaningfully at him, and Bernard said, "Uh, oh, yes ma'am. However I won't be in town very long, so I'm afraid it will have to wait for another time."

She bit her lip as she looked at him, then turned to give Henry a long deep slow kiss on the mouth. "Come home safe sweetie." 

Henry nodded, and she left the room, heading toward the basement.

"I really wish you hadn't said that," said Henry, grabbing a set of keys from a keyholder on the wall, and heading toward the inside door of the attached garage.

Bernard, who had been trying to let her down easy, said, confused, "Why not?"

Henry got on the back of his motorcycle and said, "Because she might just take you up on it if you're ever here again. C'mon I'll drive you back to your car."

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 13

The speedometer was topping out at about 215 miles per hour, except during those times when the app on his phone and his radar detector indicated there was a state patrol car nearby, which happened three times. The first time he had to slow down, as the trap was quite well hidden, and even he wouldn't have spotted it if someone on his social media GPS app hadn't already spotted it.

Thank goodness for technology. His radar detector caught the other two, and the second one looked like he was going to give chase until Bernard put his foot down. He never saw the cop after that.

He reached the outskirts of Terre Haute, and checked his GPS. Flicker had sent him the address of the Red Devils MC clubhouse which, fortunately for him, was on the east side of the city. 

It turned out to be a fairly upscale Autobody garage. The mechanics were wearing overalls. 

Everything looked very... clean. He hadn't had to deal with a lot of different motorcycle clubs in his time, but this seemed fairly unusual. He stopped one of the mechanics and asked where he could find Henry Dillon, and was directed to a small office at the back of the garage.

It was dark in the office, though the evening sunset rays cast enough light that he could see a man, apparently asleep, with his feet up on the desk. He was wearing blue jeans with leather chaps and white t shirt, and his leather jacket was hanging from a peg behind him, with the symbol of the Red Devils, and a legend bearing his name and the word "President." His face was covered by a newspaper, yet when Bernards shoes squeak on the floor outside the door a sawed off shotgun suddenly materialized in his hand, pointed straight at Barnard.

He hesitated for a moment, then said "I'm the driver that Flicker was introducing." 

"Uh-huh," said the sarcastic gravelly voice, as he sat up. His face was haggard and his hair short and grey. More like a biker should look. "And just how do I know that?"

Bernard tried not to look directly at him, as he said what Flicker told him to say. "He said I should tell you, you look like a twat."

Henry pushed back from the desk and stood up quickly, pointing his double barrelled shotgun directly into Bernards face and pulling back each of the hammers. "What did you just call me?"

Bernard remained silent and took a half step back, as Henry walked around the desk. "You had better gahdamn answer me right the fuck now. What. The fuck. Did. You. Call me?"

"Actually it was Flicker wh-"

"I DO NOT GIVE A MIGHTY FLYING FUCK WHO SAID IT FIRST," he shouted. In a far calmer voice you repeated, "What. The fuck. Did you just call me again sunshine?" His eyes we're looking crazy, and wide.

Bernard sighed deeply, and grimmaced. Then he in enunciated did clearly, and said, "Twat." He closed eyes and breathed hard for a moment.

Henry just stood there for a moment staring then started sputtering between his lips, a loud and genuine laugh. "Oh you are good. Most people are caving in on their hands and knees and asking for mercy before they have to say it again." Tears of laughter were streaming down his face now. "Hey Tonio," he shouted past Bernard, slinging the shotgun over his shoulder. "How long was that?"

One of the mechanics, without bothering to stop working his vehicle said. "About 15 seconds give or take. Pretty sure that's a record."

Henry laughed and slapped Bernard on the shoulder. "Hear that? You're gonna be a legend around here!" 

Bernard smiled tentatively, but couldn't take his eyes off the loaded shotgun. Henry followed his gaze.

"Oh, don't worry about this thing, its just loaded with rubber rounds. They hurt like a bitch," he said confidentially like someone who knew, "but they dont kill you, I unless they hit you in just the wrong place. I ain't never killed nobody with one of these... yet. But that hasn't stopped me from trying." he dropped it carelessly on the desk, and motion for Bernard to follow him out the back door, picking up his leather jacket along the way. "Alright orco, lets walk and talk and you can meet the rest of the family."

*********************************Chapter 9 part 14

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 12

Bernard nodded. Everything accounted for.

His cell phone chirped like a bird in his pocket. He looked at The Drow, who narrowed his eyes.

"Text message," he said. "D'ya mind if I...?"

The Drow made a dismissive gesture with his hand, and glanced away.

Bernard pulled his phone out of his pocket, and pulled open the Messaging app. Flicker's reply was there. "Terre Haute IN. Red Devils MC. Gun Runners. Meth coke etc. Pres Henry Dillon. Will intro you, but no promises."

He checked the time. 10:30 am. He texted back, "Be there in 7.5h. Tell him to expect me." He pressed send. He looked at the Drow as he put the phone back in his pocket. They looked at each other for an awkward moment, before the orc came back in with Bernard's clothes bag.... but not the laptop bag. Bernard smirked a little to himself then sighed as if resigned to his fate.

"It's here," said the orc in a deep gravelly voice. "But there's only 160 in here."

The Drow heaved a sigh, shook his head, and closed his eyes. "Well then," he said looking at Bernard. "Not a lot of choices-"

"I have the rest," said Bernard resignedly. He shook his head and started pulling bundles out of his pockets. He had 5 bundles, 50 thousand. He offered 4 of them to the orc, and looked pitifully at the one he had remaining.

The Drow smiled. "That will do nicely."  He snapped his fingers, and he, the dwarf, and the orc all walked out. A limo pulled up on the street outside, they all piled in and drove off. Bernard wondered vaguely how the limo knew to pull up. Probably the dwarf sent a text... he wouldn't have noticed if he had.

He shook his head and turned to look at the old couple. They stared back at him, fearfully, but resentfully. He couldn't blame them. He held up the last of the $10000 bundles, and offered it to them.

They glanced at it, but the husband shook his head.

"Stolen money. Blood money. I won't have it."

Bernard shook his head. "The bank was insured. Nobody was hurt."

"'Cept that halfling you were talking about. And the insurance company will make their money back by hiking rates on the little people. Spread the pain around. No thank you."

Bernard shook his head again and dropped the bundle on a table next to him. "Fine then, give it to charity or something, I don't care. If you so concerned about who it hurts give it to someone who needs it more." He grimaced and walked out, got into his Mustang and drove off at high speed.

********************************** Chapter 9 part 13

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 11

The Drow smiled. "Good answer."

(continued)

"So, Bernard," he said, pronouncing the name correctly, "now that we've got the introductions out of the way, do you know why I'm here?"

Bernard thought about it for a moment, which The Drow seemed to approve of. But his mouth couldn't resist getting one shot in. He had noticed that the dark elfs white eyelashes seemed a little too long, and a little TOO white, and there seemed to be more white around....

He smirked slightly. "Are you wearing Guy-liner?"

He heard the orc eating the sandwich behind him trying not to laugh, and choking a little.

The Drows expression didn't drop in the slightest, though there did seem to be an expression of weary resignation around his eyes. "Now wou-"

"You're the fixer," interrupted Bernard. "You set up the jobs and take a cut of the profits. Since you have a vested interest in the job I expect you take a keen interest in the outcome."

"You would be correct," said The Drow. "However it does not seem to the job has gone according to plan. If it had I would be talking to a very annoying blonde halfling right now, instead of a larger brutish getaway driver with an underbite." 

Bernard nodded. This was how the game was played, and he needed to play by the rules. "No problem," he said, "How much was your cut?"

The Drow smirked. "150." 

Bernard sighed and rolled his eye, but that was just for show. He could easily afford that with a lot left over. It was better though if this upstart dark elf  didn't know that, though so he tried negotiation. 

"125. The halfling didn't keep his end of the bargain to me, so what happened to him, -and to your cut- is on him."

"Oh I'm very sorry, did I give you the impression that this was a negotiation? No no no... 150 was the price for an old friend. An annoying mean little twat he was, but still a friend. For you the price is-"

"Was?" said Bernard raising an eyebrow. "He ain't dead, he's just out cold out in the SUV."

"But... the gunshot..."

Bernard shrugged. "...was him trying to shoot me." 

The Drow stared at him for a moment, then nodded to the orc behind him to go check. The orc got up off the stool, and picked up his sandwich, and walked out the front door. 

"As I was saying, the price for you is.... 200." 

Bernard stared. That was outrageous. "You've got to be joking. I did my bit, and I got my pay. Anything the halfling fucked up from then on ain't for me to pay for, you should take it up with him."

"Oh believe me, I am..." 

A gunshot sounded outside, and Bernard's blood ran cold, but he tried to keep the emotion off his face.

"...but that won't get me my money back, now will it Bernard?"

Bernard went through all the possibilities in his head: Refuse = Dead. Negotiate = Probably dead. Give up the money = probably live. 

"Fine," he said. "I'll go out there and get it." 

"Oh no, mister clever driver. We watched you put the bag in that car. My associate should return with the it very soon."

**********************************Chapter 9 Part 12

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 10

"Hallo lov'" he said. "I trust you know who I am?"

Bernard looked around. It was a combination meat and sandwich shop. Behind the counter were a man and a woman both wearing long, blood spotted aprons, were watching them, glancing nervously around at each of them, especially the orc. The man, who looked about 50 or so, was holding a rag to his forehead, just above his left eyebrow, which was stained brown, fading to red with blood. He was holding the woman, obviously his wife, with his free arm. She was calm but obviously furious. This explained why no one had called the cops yet.

Bernard didn't hurt people unless they tried to hurt him, so it was galling to him that these people should use force just to make a point, and instill fear.

But he held his tongue, and continued his scan of the room, as if looking for an escape route or threats.

Finally he looked back at the elf. His skin was the dark, dusky grey, with just a  of his kind, not perfectly black as most people seemed to think, just like albinos are not always perfectly white, there's always just that hint of flesh-tone, or pink from the blood underneath. In albinos it made them look a very pale pinky-flesh tone. In dark elves it looked ever so slightly purple.

He started to answer, "You're the D-" but he knew that completing that word would be the wrong thing to do. So instead he started over and said very deliberately, "You're the Dark Elf."

"Ahh," said the Dark Elf. "It's an uncomfortable word isn't it? There are some names people fear to say. Satan," he snorted, "Voldemort," he rolled his eyes, "Deimis & Phobos are names that mean fear. But the name I choose is feared because people don't like how we react when they say it. Even thinking it makes people uncomfortable. It's an insult. Feels like you're saying 'slave,' doesn't it? C'mon. You can say it. Just this once. A freebie."

Bernard knew he wasn't getting out of it. He was going to have to say the name. The truth was though... he was right. The very thought was sending shivers down his spine, but he couldn't show any emotion. Even so, he felt the little muscles around his eye twitch slightly as he said, "Drow." It felt perverse. Like calling an African America the "N-word."

"Ah you pronounce it like 'now' instead of 'grow' eh?"

"I hadn't really ever given it any thought."

The Drow smiled. "Good answer."

**********************************Chapter 9 Part 11

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 9

After they were out of sight, Bernard stood there for a moment, listening.

No sirens yet. On a day this clear you would be able to hear them miles off.  He walked around to the back of the Escalade and opened the hatch, pulling out a shoulder bag, containing a laptop, and a backpack containing a change of clothes.

He hadn't been expecting the duffel though, so this threw a wrench into his perfectly laid plans. In the end he changed his clothes, into bright yellow golf shirt, tan khakis, sandals and a flat cap, then put the old clothes, and half the cash into the backpack, and the other half into the laptop bag, distributed as one layer to just make it look a little thicker.

He still had the cuts from Adam and Wallace, which he stuck in the cargo pockets of his shorts. Then he stood still and listened again. Still nothing, except the quiet sounds of the halfling's breathing in the background.

That was... odd. By now he should at least heat distant sirens. Across the street was a small lake, and the area around here was totally flat, except for the trees. The sound should carry. Frowning he jogged around the far side of the Deli past a couple greenhouses, then peeked out to the road. Nobody was there, so he stepped back into the road, turned left, and started toward the Deli.

His black-on-black mustang was parked in the very last space, its matte black surface streaked by the reflective black stripes. The windows were completely blacked out.

As was his habit, he set aside his burdens and laid down on the ground beside it looking for any tell-tale signs that anyone might have tampered with it. He didn't see any, so he stood back up and slowly put the key in the lock. This failed to cause explosion, so he turned the key counterclockwise slowly and deliberately. There was no catch or any resistance, so he opened the door.

On the cream colored leather seat he found a yellow sticky note. He checked his surroundings self-consciously, then tossed his bags into the back seat and pulled the note from the seat. The heat of the day had made the inside of the car warm, and some of the sticky stuff from the note stayed on the seat.

Bernard winced in annoyance and looked at the note.

"When yo' fru muckin' abou' out dere why don' you come in an' 'ave a cuppa?"

His nostrils flared. He only knew one person who WROTE in a cockney accent.

He strode over to the front door of the Deli, and paused, listening again. No sound came from inside. Last time he was here there was a radio playing. No sound of conversation either. He grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. 

An orc dressed in a perfectly tailored suit with a ponytail so long it hung to the middle of his back stood with his back to him leaning over the counter, and eating a sandwich. He glanced casually over his shoulder at Bernard, in perfect confidence that if things went bad, he would still have a perfect suit. 

Bernard looked left and saw a brown skinned dwarf with a mustache and afro, and a chin beard in little braids. He stood with one hand in his pocket, the other swinging carelessly at his side, though in close reach, to the pistol on his hip. 

And behind him, sitting in a booth by himself was a dark elf. 

*********************************** Chapter 9 part 10

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 8

There was a little drive that led to the docks off to one side of the Marina itself, but just before that was a little Deli with a good sized back parking lot. There was really no need for a lot that size for a Deli, so no one really went back there, which made it the perfect spot for a drop off.

"Awright, everybody out," said Bernard shutting down the engine, and getting out himself.

The two humans got out on his side, while the halfling, looking rattled got out on the other side.

"Well then everyone ready to settle up and get the hell out of here?" 

The red-bearded human was already holding out three bundles of cash, with straps around them the said "$10000." The dark haired human pulled his three bundles out of the pocket of his black sweatshirt. 

"Very good, and...?" They look around for the halfling, but Bernard could hear him on the other side of the SUV. He walked around the front of the vehicle, and found the little blond man holding a .45 which looked ridiculously big in his hands. 

"Actually," said Bernard, "I believe we agreed you're cut was 40,000."

"You're some kind of crazy person, you nearly got us killed," snarled the halfling. "I'm not getting my cut to some psycho driver who-"

"Darrin!" It was the red haired human. he had come around the back of the SUV, and when he shouted the halfling glanced back at him.

Bernard took the opening and swung his foot around at the gun, which flew out of his hand, bounced off the ground and went off harmlessly into the sky.

"FUCK balls," said Bernard, as he been his knees into a low crouch. The halfling snarled, and pulled a nightstick out of is half opened duffle bag. 

"You want to go?" He said in a high pitched voice. "Bring it ya little bitch!"

He lunged forward swinging the nightstick down and across to meet Bernards knee.

Bernard shuffled into the range of the swing, and caught the halflings wrist on his knee instead, but then had to quickly reach down and grab the nightstick to prevent it accidentally catching him in an even more delicate location. He was then able to quickly pull the nightstick free from the halflings hand. 

The halfling was too busy nursing his wrist to notice when the nightstick handle hooked the back of his ankle, and pulled his leg out from under him. 'Actually,' Bernard reflected, 'his low center of gravity had made him surprisingly difficult to trip.' 

He step quickly forward and belted the little guy across the face, rendering him unconscious.

Then he stood up his knees creaking. He groaned. "Now I remember why I hate fighting halflings. And dwarves. And gnomes... you have to fight on their level which is just too hard on my damn knees."

The dark haired human had just come around the corner too, and saw their halfling compatriot lying on the ground.

"Gimme a hand here," he told red beard, nodding toward the halfling. Together they pick them up and tossed in the front seat of the SUV. 

The dark haired guy looked confused. "I don't get it, are you taking him with you?"

Bernard raised a sarcastic eyebrow at him smirking slightly. "What are you talking about?"

"Uh well, isn't this your SUV?" 

Bernard shruged and looked at it. "Never seen it before today."

"Well then who's...?"

Bernard shruged smirking and not into the halfling. "Looks like it's his."

They both got it then just started laughing. 

"What a creepy little piss-ant," said the red bearded one. "You no he tried to-"

Bernard cut him off. "Sorry, but not a lot of time for chit chat, someone will have heard the gunshot and the police should be here in about... five minutes or so. Give or take. If you could just give me my cut from his bag...?" 

Red Beard picked the duffel up, and started to reach inside, then glanced at the dark haired human who nodded, and seemed to think better of it. He tossed the whole duffel over to Bernard. 

He caught it, taken aback, then nodded graciously to the two. Then he did something he rarely did. 

"What are your names?" 

They smiled and nodded, then Red Beard spoke. "I'm Adam Jones, and this is Walter Quinlan. We're known around here. You?"

"Bernard," he said, pronouncing it 'Bur-nerd.' "Bernard McFreed." 

They nodded. "Look us up next time you need some muscle," said Adam grinning. They jogged quickly back around the building and up the road to the marina.

******************************** Chapter 9 part 9

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 7

Bernard looked forward again, and steadily and deliberately lowered his foot down on the gas pedal. He took a deep breath, and tuned out everything, while at the same time allowing his perception to expand. Suddenly there was nothing , not the police, not the halfling in the backseat practically frothing at the mouth, or the two humans huddling in their seats. It was just him, the vehicle as an extension of him, the traffic, the open dome of the sky, and his good friend the road.

In his life he had walked roads, biked roads, hitchhiked on roads, even slept on them. He worked construction on a road crew making concrete roads, blacktop asphalt, overpasses, bridges, cloverleaves, roads that went over hills, wound around mountains, and tunneled through mountains and earth, or under rivers. That was all in his younger days, during the wild years, when we was boosting cars, but couldn't always make ends meet.

But nothing beat driving on roads.

He took a quick inventory of the statistics. He had about 15 miles left to go. Police SUV top speed, 205 mph, acceleration 8/10, handling 8.5/10, braking 6/10, driver skill 8/10. Cadillac Escalade top speed 190 mph, acceleration 7/10, handling 8/10, braking 4.5/10, driver skill... well he didn't like to toot his own horn.

And the road opened before him, as the world slowed down. His mind showed him every path, every lane, every hazard he could encounter. He flowed down the highway, moving through openings and paths, riding the shoulder when necessary. As he passed on particularly wide semi trailer his driver’s side wing mirror scraped against the guard wall until the mirror eventually folded up and flew off. He barely noticed. Anyway he didn't need it now, only what lie ahead mattered. Except the police SUV, but didn't seem to be able to find the openings that Bernard could find.

And the whole time he knew- the slightest mistake, or misstep could kill them all. At this speed the airbags would be nearly useless, the impact would shatter bone, collapse their lungs. Race car drivers wore special suits, and secured themselves with special harnesses to prevent exactly those injuries. All they had was a 1/8 inch ribbon of woven nylon, that would be as likely to slice them in half as protect them at these speeds.

Occasionally he saw blue and red lights go past in the other direction. Or at least it seemed that way to him as he passed them, but soon even those went away, and he rode by at top speed, the tachometer riding the red line.

He saw a road sign and sighed inwardly. But the exit to Ross Bridge was at least 2 lanes, so he might not have to slow down too much.

Two exits later Bernard was driving serenely down a tree lined suburban road

"Now then," said Bernard. "We are approaching the Marina, so if everyone would please prepare their part of my cut, we can part ways amicably, and go on with our lives."

********************************** Chapter 9 part 8

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 6

I feel like this section is not the greatest, but it's also not the one was having the most trouble with. After this I still have to get Bernard into contact with the local criminal underworld. And into the story. As much work as I've put into this chase sequence the truth is it might have to go someday, so enjoy it while it lasts people!

 *****************************************

The freeway was generally very busy at this time of day, and today was no exception. Bernard matched speed very quickly, and sought out an opening, then being careful to use his turn signal, cautiously merged into the traffic.

The police SUVS of course with their blaring sirens and their flashing lights, prompted drivers to slow and let them in. 'The cheaters,' thought Bernard, as he sped up and started swerving through the short section of four lane traffic, practically standing on the gas pedal. The Caddie got up to about 95 before he got to the upcoming exit that would take him to either i95 North, or South.

He looked for openings on both sides, but stayed in the right lane. The police followed suit. However Bernard noticed they were about to pass a semi. Once they were right beside the semi, he quickly changed lanes back to the left to get on i95 North, a while the cops looked in vain for a place to get over.

Bernard laughed and gunned it through the 2 lane exit. He glanced in his wing mirror, and saw that the two vehicles had somehow made it onto the ramp, and that now there were a couple of patrol sedans coming up from i95 as he glanced to the right while passing over the overpass.

He picked up speed on the exit, throwing his passengers around the back of the vehicle as their bodies tried to go in a straight line, while the car tried to turn left around them. By the time he was on the actual 4 lane portion of i95 he was going about 105 mph, but of course the cops were catching up, even still.

Then he saw one of the three black Escalades he had been scouting over the past several days. He checked his mirrors, and changed lanes in front of it, noting that the driver was a very attractive orc, but with two little rug-rats in the back seat.

'Shame,' he thought at he pulled way out ahead. A few moments later she was being pulled over to the side of the road.

The second Escalade was about half a mile further up, the driver a half elf teenager who seemed to be on his phone texting. Bernard raised an eyebrow, pulled in front of him and braked sharply. The kid barely looked up in time to note he was about to plow into the back of Bernards vehicle, but then the phone dropped from his hands and he slammed on his brakes. One of the police SUV is pulled him over a few moments later. 

The third Escalade Bernard had already expect to see by now, but then the traffic was pretty thick. He continued to weave through the different cars, until he saw what he was looking for about a quarter mile ahead. 

The third Escalade was driven by a little old lady, about 95 years old. She tended to swerve back and forth when she drove ending up halfway into somebody else's lane. She also appeared to be stone deaf. When the police cars pulled up behind her and started flashing lights and wearing their sirens, she just kept right on going as if nothing was happening. As the sedan drove behind her, the SUV pulled up alongside, and try to director to the side of the road. However when he saw it wasn't Bernard, he started looking around and spotted Bernards Escalade a half mile up, where Bernard was watching the rear view mirror. 

"Whoops," he said standing on the gas pedal. "Time to get going"

********************************* Chapter 9 part 7

Magic World (working title): Chapter 9 part 5

Another short one today. Some of these car chase scenes can really be taxing on the old noggin. 

****************************

There were five lanes of traffic here so he had plenty of room to dodge the traffic. But every car he dodged, juked and dodged themselves, some of them screeching to a halt. It was helpful, but did very little to slow the cop cars, six of which were following them now, the three SUVs and three of the sedans. That wasn't perfect, but it would do.

This particular portion of  i-646 was where traffic got on from several different main roads. It was close to the bus depot and other important locations, and had a great view of Isamu Noguchi's Bolt of Lightening sculpture. 

It also wrapped right back around to Franklin square, a nature park with art, a decorative fountain, a few very pretty sculptures, and even a mini-golf course. 'It's a shame really,' thought Bernard as his tires bumped over the curb, and started plowing through the grass, heading toward the fountain. The police had been able to gain a little bit of ground, as vehicles pulled over for them. He wasn't sure if  they would bother going through to get him, but sure enough they plowed right after him.

Bernard was a conscientious driver though, and started toward the picnic area, which had the fewest people at the moment. He drifted around a picnic table dirt flying out from behind, and had to adjust slightly to avoid hitting a civilian, which threw off his trajectory a little, so he ended up swerving through the mini golf course. He deftly manuevered around, and started toward the exit of the park.

The cop cars weren't quite as lucky. One skidded sideways and his two side wheels slipped over the edge of the artificial stream. Another clipped a concrete pyamid, and bounced of at a funny angle. The third completed a course correction that ended up aiming him at the miniature Liberty Bell, which gonged loudly when struck.

The SUVs however were much more deft, moving more toward the fountain, and around the center of the park. So when Bernard flew out onto N 7th St, right back where he'd started the SUVs were right behind. 

Bernard flew through the underpass and stoplight, and headed straight toward the remaining cop car. The intersection was now clear, so there was plenty room now to quickly maneuver around the car, as the police officer standing in front of it dove to the side.

The SUV closing in behind him however was not quite so lucky. It T boned the empty cop car, all the airbags in both vehicles going off, and both ended up in the wall of the underpass behind.

Bernard smirk does he went up the I 95 exit going east, now with two police SUVs following.

********************************* Chapter 9 part 6