His mannerism and style were large and flamboyant, loud and brash, like someone high on cocaine, or meth, but Henry didn't show any of the telltale signs. His face was road worn, wrinkled leathery and brown, but that seemed like the result of too many miles on the road, than rampant drug use. He seemed more like a hyperactive, but charismatic child.
With a violent streak.
"That'll work, and then may I ca-"
The biker whirled on him so suddenly Bernard didn't even
realize till their faces were only inches apart, and he was saying in a
slightly hushed and menacing voice, "Now why do you gotta do that? I
mean I know your name is pronounced BER-nerd, Flicker told me," he said.
"What's the matter, ain't you got no self-respect? Ain't you a real
man, hm?"
Bernard very slowly and carefully, without taking his eyes
off the man, took half a step back before saying, "It's true I normally
correct people on the proper pronunciation of my name. Take it as a mark
of respect that I chose not to correct you."
Henry nodded, and looked at Bernard as if re-evaluating
him, but also with a touch of pride in his eyes. "Good answer," he said.
"Doesn't matter anyway though. Ber-nerd, Ber-NARD," he shook his head.
"Too pretentious for a small-town, redneck, hillbilly like me. I was
just gonna call you Orco anyway. C'mon, lemme introduce you to the wife
and kids. Now Red Devil tradition, which is based on Mongolian nomadic culture, dictates that I must offer you my wife to lie with for a night. But we are not Mongols, and I would take it as a sign of respect..." he looked meaningfully at the orc when saying this, "...if you would not accept this kind offer, even IF I embellish or insist, which I am obligated to do."
They were crossing the shady, well manicured back yard of the house which was on the opposite side of the block from the shop, walking toward a white two story house with blue trim, which was surrounded by - Bernard had to look twice, and squint just to be sure - a white picket fence.
He said somewhat distractedly, "I assure you, sharing women with another man is not something I would do by choice. You have nothing to fear from me in that regard, Mr... um... President."
"Yeah you can call me that. I suppose you're wondering about the uh... " he twirled his finger around indicating their surroundings, and Bernard nodded . "Well for a guy like me, you get to be a certain age and
start thinking about your future. And a life of riding around, hurting
people, killing, and drugs might sound like a lot of fun, you want your
kids to know what the other side is like, even if its just for contrast."
"So this isn't the life you want?"
Henry hedged a bit, tilting his head back and forth in a
50/50 gesture. "It has its good things and bad things. Not getting
harassed by the cops is good for one, but I would rather face down all the crack
junkies in all of Indiana than go to another PTA meeting. Those people are crazier than the craziest meth heads I ever met, and that includes myself."
Bernard nodded, not really understanding.
Henry led them into the back door of the house, into the kitchen, which was small and simple, and decorated like any other small mid-western kitchen, complete with the little clock on the wall with the cat whose eyes move in time with the tail. It creeped Bernard out a little bit.
Then two small children came into the room. The younger one, the girl of about eight, with her blonde hair in pigtails, and wearing a pink and yellow sun dress, screamed, "DADDY'S HOME," and leaped into her father's arms, while the boy, about twelve with dark hair down below the level of his eyes, wearing blue jeans and an Alice in Chains T-Shirt, just rolled his eyes.
Then he caught sight of Bernard and said defensively, "Who the fuck is this?"
Bernard raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Well they've certainly inherited your social graces."
Henry, holding his daughter, looked at Bernard with raised eyebrows and said, "Fuckin' A right. Bernerd, this is Edward and Gracie, kids, this is BER-nerd. He's a little touchy about his name, so get it right."
"No problem Ber-NARD," said Edward sarcastically, as Gracie just hid her face shyly against her father. Bernard just rolled his eyes as Edward turned to his father and said. "Oh, and I was coming out to tell you, Jackie just stopped by, but he looked like he was in a hurry. He said they're down at the coyote, and you would know what that meant."
"Fuckin' shit-birds," said Henry, putting Gracie down. He looked at Bernard. "Hey, I know you got some stuff going on around here, but uh... would you mind giving us a hand with something. It is a driving thing, and..."
"You said the magic words mate, not a problem. You scratch my back..."
"Ooo, is somebody talking about back scratching?"
A gorgeous redheaded woman entered the kitchen, wearing nothing but a skirt, and a smile. Bernard had to make a conscious effort to make sure his eyes remained elevated, but he noted that Edward rolled his eyes, and he and Gracie left the kitchen.
"Margie, this is Bernard. Orco, this is my wife Margie, who apparently doesn't have any clean shirts or bras today."
"Charmed," said Bernard smiling pleasantly and politely at her.
She smiled and licked her lips. "Very interesting accent Bernard. I assume that Henry has made the standard offer? It's not often I get to entertain Orcs..." she looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on him uncomfortably.
Henry glanced meaningfully at him, and Bernard said, "Uh, oh, yes ma'am. However I won't be in town very long, so I'm afraid it will have to wait for another time."
She bit her lip as she looked at him, then turned to give Henry a long deep slow kiss on the mouth. "Come home safe sweetie."
Henry nodded, and she left the room, heading toward the basement.
"I really wish you hadn't said that," said Henry, grabbing a set of keys from a keyholder on the wall, and heading toward the inside door of the attached garage.
Bernard, who had been trying to let her down easy, said, confused, "Why not?"
Henry got on the back of his motorcycle and said, "Because she might just take you up on it if you're ever here again. C'mon I'll drive you back to your car."
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